Transmissions from the Dreaming

Drinking stolen wine, and smoking cigarettes rolled from the pages of a bible, I begin again.

-sigh-

When you really break it all down, what’s the point of it all?  I ask myself.  I’ve asked this numerous times, only to have the answer bite me in the ass over and over and over again.  I’ve pissed away a good few years worth of Life in the search for ‘It All’ and all I’ve really come up with is ‘Just Because’.  There remains a distance I try to keep between me and the words I write, but I realize that the distance is what becomes me.  No matter the content, intent, or goal, it’s all just another attempt to find meaning to it all in the world around me.  Something that has been tried hundreds, or thousands, or millions of times before this one.  Whatever the number that has proceeded this single attempt amongst many, I move forward, claiming neither experience nor insider tips towards the matter.  After all, I’m just one voice amongst the millions on the Internet that feels the need to throw their thoughts at the ink and see what sticks to the paper after the initial shit storm has passed.

I’ve never had formal schooling, and while I wish I had, that option hasn’t presented itself as yet, though I know I can’t just wait for opportunities to appear, but must make the opportunities for the one who would take them as they come.  Namely, Me.  This really goes for anyone else out there that would begin as I would; Ass Backwards and trying to figure out just what the fuck is going on in this world.  I know others like myself exist.  I know I’m not unique, and if I am, I’m unique just like anyone else you could pick from this floating ball of rock, hurtling through space at about 67,000 miles per hour.  Hell, even my American upbringing has distanced me from the rest of the globe as everyone else uses the metric system.  If I could simulate rolling my eyes here, I would.

Whatever the case may be, I made a choice to keep going in the direction I’m in, and do my damned best to keep myself going, no matter how bad things get.  And believe me, things get pretty damn bad, especially for one as imaginative as myself.  There’s all forms of danger to be lurking in the blackness of the unknown, waiting around every corner to trip and devour you at the slightest sign of weakness.  That’s the world for you.  Fierce, vicious, and none too picky about what it devours to keep going.  Earth is a monstrous engine that is fueled by the blood of Man.  We die so that it might continue.  If humans died out completely, Earth would advance and forget about us.  We are short lived, troublesome, violent, and self destructive.  It’s bound to happen eventually, right?  Well, judging by the patterns at least.  Earth has a memory, but one that measures against the Galactic Ruler.  Our one hundred year bottle rockets are no match at all for the Class D bombs it has to deal with.

We are here and gone in a blink of an eye.  Look at our history and you’ll notice that the longer we lived, the longer we were able to keep ourselves alive, the more logical our deductions about our home became.  When our lives were capped at around thirty to forty years we worshiped anything that we did not understand, and back then, that was just about anything we saw.  As the years progressed we came to understand our surroundings and the ball of rock we lived on.  Hell, for the longest the world was thought to be flat.  You can even compare this to the way humans think about things.  It’s never as multidimentional as we’d like it to be, being only able to observe (for the most part) in a 2-D to 3-D point of view.  When you introduce meditation, ‘outside-the-box-’ thinking, etc, we really only add a fraction of what really is.  That the world is but an atom in the unfathomable build of a gigantic dildo, placed away in someone’s closet until the next moment the husband, wife, or dry spell comes up, is only a small percentage in the whole fucking system of it all.  For all we know, we’re atoms that make up the code of a horrible virus that is, right as you are reading this, tearing the life from a life force that has family, friends, and lovers as you all do.

Who cares, right?  We’re either too big or too small to give credit to such things?  We aren’t effected by the events of these worlds, so why bother thinking of them?  Why not?  Why not give into these ponderings in the dark?  Because it shakes what you are to the core.  It challenges your set views of a world where You are the biggest, most valuable, pawn on the whole chess board, and a polite ‘Go fuck yourself’ to anything that would challenge this existence where You remain an ‘Important’ piece in the Game of Life.  Perspective kicks us in the balls again as we delve into the possibilities that we aren’t the Big Cheese in the main run of things.  Even that line of thinking can be credited to Religion.

I really don’t want to get into a discussion of religion right now because it would ruin my buzz, but I’ll just end this topic here by saying that Religion has been the biggest cause of Death in our entire existence as sentient creatures on this this floating rock.

We believe because we CAN.

At any rate, I’m off to bed.

Fuck you, fuck your beliefs, and most of all, fuck bananas.  Because I can almost never remember how to spell the fucking things…

Whatever,

Peace and enlightenment be upon you Traveler.

~K.S.